When Murphy Strikes: The Aftermath

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This has not been a stellar week in the world of storytelling for me. I find myself wondering how children taste if you have the right recipe.

I also wonder about the administrators at some of these schools.

In the last two days, I've been hit by all of the things that make me question whether or not I am the best person to be in schools.

I have no patience.
I am annoyed when administration treats art experiences like a babysitting service.
I am disgusted when teachers spend time surfing the net on their phones during the set and then get upset with their kids when they don't pay attention.
I am annoyed when they leave two special teachers in the room and everyone else leaves, thus encouraging the handful of really defiant kids all over the room to show their worst behavior without there being anybody there who really knows the best way to deal with them.
I hate having to enforce discipline from the stage because nobody is doing it and the kids around the disruptor are having trouble paying attention.
I really hate having to call out a kid who has Pokemon cards or a phone.
I hate seeing the preschoolers file into a show for 3 - 5th graders because they are going to sit and stare at me without a clue in the world about what is happening.

As I said, it has been a rough couple of days.

When things like this happen to me while I'm performing, I stop having fun. The only thing that saves the shows at this point is all of the training I've had over the years. I can get through a story and the kids enjoy it, but they are not getting the best of me, and my attitude by the end is hanging on by the skin of my proverbial teeth.

What happens when Murphy comes to visit me?


My usual fall back position after I leave a show where my body is in a knot because of the circumstances is to decide I was the biggest problem. Somehow, if I had just done SOMETHING different, that would have saved the whole thing. Placing it in my court makes me feel like there is something I can do to deal with the situation better the next time it happens and I start strategizing.

Despite my utter disgust at myself for not giving what I felt was the best possible experience to this school, the kids left saying...

You should be a comedian!
You are really funny!
I loved those stories!

When I'm this disappointed in the overall show, it is hard for me to hear those things. I am too annoyed at myself at not having done a better job at...SOMETHING.

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First, I reach into my glove box and get a small piece of emergency chocolate. You can put what you want in your glovebox, I try to keep something decadent in there that I wouldn't normally eat. I take a small piece. This prevents me from pulling into the next drive-thru I see and ordering a shake or some other thing I will instantly regret the second I've swilled it down.

Next, I call The David. 

I yell, complain, and generally pout out loud as I drive. He listens and talks me down off of whatever ledge I might be standing on at the moment. Then, he talks to me. He uses his "Baby, be calm" voice.

He tells me about his phone calls, meetings, contracts, politics he has seen, whatever thing the cats have been up to, and any news of our college-aged children he has been saving. He will even tell me dad jokes. 


Whenever I am no longer homicidal, we get off the phone. I put on a playlist and drive home.









When I get here,  I curate my little library.














I get on facebook and waste some time.



I play a couple of games.










I make myself some lovely tea.



















This time of year I make a nice fire....even if it is sixty degrees outside.











And, if it is non-fiction Thursday, which it is, I have to try to write a blog post about something.




So, tomorrow I have another show. No matter how it goes, tomorrow is Friday, so there is that.

Oh, and for those of my friends who are worried that I am cracking, I had amazing shows last weekend and a practically sold out show at the Carolina Theatre last weekend.

It isn't that I am fighting some huge uphill battle and debating the merits of my career.

No, I'm just having a few days when every audience I've seen makes me think I'm doing something wrong.

I think that it is important for artists to have these moments because they remind us that we are on a journey, not at a destination. We are not bulletproof, and we are often defined by the last audience we see!

So, tea, fire, and pampering tonight. Tomorrow? Kindergarten and first grade audiences...at least, that's what they booked. Who knows what it will be when I get there.

Murphy is with me this week. He's a pain, but he doesn't ever stay long.

Enjoy the journey...even the potholes. All of them teach us something.

Happy Telling -

Telling Stories and Literacy: The Things You Don't Usually Get To See

Photo Credit Jonathan Van Ark

I am an unrepentant bibliophile and logophile.

I love words and word games and reading. I could spend months sitting by a lake with a stack of books and little else and I would be in Heaven.

I can't imagine a life without books.

I know, however, that not everyone feels that way about literature.

Apparently, there are people who haven't read a book since college. There are other people who haven't ever read a book at all.

There are lots of reasons why people struggle to read, and those reasons are as varied as the people who have them.

If you are a literacy specialist working in an elementary school, you get to peek into those worlds. Today, because of a very specific set of circumstances, I got to peek into one.

I had three shows at a school today. This basically means I'm there for half a day. I don't do my usual run in, do a couple of sets, and then head out of the building.

The kids in the first couple of assemblies leave me and have time to go do a few other things before I am out the door.

Today was pretty perfect. I had K - 2, 3 - 5, and 6 & 7.

I got to do my traditional sets, and I let the middle school group decide if they wanted the family story I normally tell for the seventh grade or the gory scary set I tell for the sixth. Not surprisingly, I ended up telling Morgan and the Pot of Brains and The Boo Hag. They never pick the family story even if I promise them it is fun and they will love it.

I got to the school at 8:30am and I left at 1:15.

After my last set, I was chatting with the artist liaison. (the person on site who volunteers to babysit me! They make sure the space is set up properly, get my room temperature bottle of water - snacks sometimes - and ask me if I need anything else. They are wonderful. I wish I had one for everything, but alas, the second you leave the school you are once more on your own!)

We were laughing about something as we went down the hall towards the front office. I'd had a chance to see all the kids in the school, and they were shocked to see me walking through the halls like a normal person. They said the usual things:

"I loved that!"
"You are the best storyteller ever!"
"That was amazing."
"You are very good at telling stories."
"Thank you for telling us stories."

As we passed one of the closed doors, a teacher opened it, let a kid out and saw me.
She said, "I am so glad to see you! I have to tell you something."

A kid that she has been working with all year came to see her right after the assembly. The literacy specialist said that this girl has lots of struggles with literacy. She reads the words one at a time with a flat affect, and her comprehension is almost nonexistent.

She said, "I always tell the kids to read with expression, but they never do."

Today, when the girl got to her session, she read the sentence. "The. dog. was. angry." The specialist said, "After she read the sentence she looked at it for a second and she said, "No." she read it again, and this time she made it really dramatic. "The dog was angry!"

 She looked up at me and there was a huge smile on her face. She said, "I have to learn how to read this the right way so I can go home and read it to my parents!"

The specialist said the girl was so excited about the story that she worked on it until she had it so she could read it all the way through with inflection.

"You helped her make a connection between words and stories that I have been unable to get her to do all year. I have never seen her so excited about reading. I just wanted you to know that. You made a difference for her."

One of the bookcases in my kid's rec room

I rarely get that kind of immediate feedback about the work I do.
Normally, I just hope stories clicked with someone.

I walked out of that school today with so much joy. I was so proud of that kid. I don't know who she is. I might never meet her. She may never see me again, but if she keeps hearing the words with emphasis and images...reading could very well go from a struggle to a friend.

Don't ever doubt that what you do makes a difference just because you aren't always there to see it.

Happy Telling -

We Are Our Stories - Nothing More. Nothing Less.

I love doing sets that challenge audiences when I work in schools. I'm always trying to challenge them linguistically and developmentally. I try to challenge their imagination and their assumptions.

We are the sum of the stories we believe, and the stories we reject. We can't incorporate any story into our world view we haven't heard. As a storyteller, I try to expose people to as many stories as I can!

Nobody should be shocked that we are the stories we believe. We start teaching our children the story of who we are, and who we expect them to be as soon as they arrive. We also tell them who everyone else is. 

Sometimes the stories we surround our children with are dark and frightening. Sometimes the stories are light and fun. 

As we go through life, those stories come back to haunt us. They shape what we see and how we interact with people. They close us or open us. We cannot escape them, and often we don't even question them.

Yesterday I was in a school that had an interesting population. They have everything from kids who live in gated communities with million dollar homes, kids who are bussed in from government housing to kids who live on a Reservation. 

I asked the principal if he would like the Trouble set or the Social set. He listened to the descriptions and announced, "Both."

I said, "You have to pick one."

He said, "Both," and started laughing.

So, I split the baby on it. I did part of the Trouble set and part of the Social set.

The kids really enjoyed Brer Possum and the Snake, but they were over the moon for The Debate in Sign Language.

They were shocked at the callousness of the king, the foolishness of his behavior, and his nonsense assertion that the only people who were worth anything were the rich and beautiful. 

They loved the ending, and most of them said it was their favorite story. The teachers who saw me before I left the school felt compelled to tell me that the last story was perfect because of the population of their school. I just nodded. 

Today, I was in a school that I visit every single time I am in the area. I wasn't here last year, and all the teachers let me know that they noted that I didn't come. The principal told me that as soon as they saw my name on the list they booked me this year. It is an arts school, and I have now seen every single kid at that k - 6th school at least once!

With such a seasoned storytelling audience, you can tell interesting stories. So, I broke out Clever Manka.

(The version I tell is not the written one here. It is a compilation of several of these clever girl tales, but this is a good variant of the one I know.)

I begin by telling them that I was potty trained in front of Sesame Street. I explain that I loved Prairie Dawn because she was saying things to girls nobody else was. She said girls were smart, and strong, and capable. I explained that when I was a little girl, most people were telling girls if they were too smart, nobody would ever love them. Smart girls were always shown to be alone, teased, unloved, and every other thing until they stopped trying to be so smart and looked pretty.

"Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."

The kids were shocked that this could have been true. They couldn't imagine it. I asked them what year women got to vote. It took five minutes of guessing before someone finally remembered it was 1920.

I told them that from 1776 to 1920, women in the country had been unable to make decisions that really affected our government. 

I told them that I found out that Prarie Dawn is the first feminist I'd ever met. Being a feminist means that you believe that girls are smart, strong, and capable. If you believe that, then you are a feminist. 

Then, I went into Clever Manka. The refrain I use in that tale?

"Nothing good ever comes of women who are clever!

As I was leaving today, one of the girls turned to me and said, "Girl Power!"

I don't remember what I was thinking about when I was in fourth grade, but I am pretty sure it wasn't girl power.

There are so many stories that tell us that acting with knowledge can change the world for good one decision or action at a time, just as acting in ignorance can destroy beautiful things.

 We change the world and ourselves for good or ill because of the stories we believe and those we reject.

I am just a storyteller. All I can do is try to offer up stories so that we can see each other and ourselves in different ways. 

I want to believe it is possible to see each other and accept that we are not all the same and that is perfectly fine.

Some days I am daunted by that. Today?

Today I had 

Happy Telling.

Kwanzaa! it is once again time to celebrate!

A guide to new celebrants!

Yes, it is once again Kwanzaa time!  Time to eat benne cakes, roll out the Mkeka, set up the Kinara, light the Mishuma Saba, pass around the Kikombe Cha Umoja,and reflect on the Nguzo Saba!
Hooray!

Before we begin...

Kwanzaa is not a Christmas substitute for African Americans...Kwanzaa doesn't have anything to do with Christmas at all.

Kwanzaa is not a religious holiday.  Kwanzaa is not about religion!

If that is what Kwanzaa is not, then what is it?  Well, it is easy enough to explain.  Kwanzaa is the African American Festival that occurs at the end of the year.  It was originally created by Dr. Mulana Karenga in the late 1960's.

A picture book about the spirit of Kwanzaa!

Why have an African American inspired celebration?

African Americans have been an integral part of the history of America since the beginning.  Despite that, there are no national celebrations that recognize the contributions of African Americans to our country.  There have been and still are African American inventors, soldiers, entrepreneurs, cowboys, farmers, firemen, and America even has a black president.   In the '60's and all through my childhood, as a matter of fact, there was no acknowledgement that African Americans had much impact on the country at all before Martin Luther King was born!  Kwanzaa has two main components that encourage celebrants to consider their place in the world as well as reflect on the contributions of African Americans.  The first is the Nguzo Saba, and the second are reflective readings.


Kwanzaa is a truly American celebration.  it is based on First Fruits celebrations in different parts of Africa, but it is not like any of them.

So, That's as much history as I'm giving!  Now, on to the steps!

First you need a mat of some sort of natural fibers.

MKeka (M-ke'-kah) - this mat is the foundation of your Kwanzaa display and it is the foundation that we use to build our lives.  It represents the African American culture and traditions.

Mishuma Saba (Mish-oo'-ma So'-bah) - The candles.  Three green, three red, and one black.  These are the colors of the African American Flag.  The red is for the blood we all share no matter where our ancestors were born, the green is for the hope of new life and a better world, and the black is for the color of the African American ancestral heritage.

Kinara (kin-are'-ah) - The candle holder.  The proper way to set up the Kinara is to put three red candles on the left, three green candles on the right and the black candle in the middle.  You light the black one first.  On the second day you light the red one.  On the third day you light a green one.  You continue to alternate between red and green for the remainder of the festival.

Muhindi (moo-hin'-dee) - These are ears of corn, there should be one for each child in the home.  The corn should be dried.

Mazao (mu-zow') - These are fruits and vegetables added to the Mkeka that represent crops, the bounty of the earth, good things and plenty.

Kikombe Cha Umoja (ki'-cOm'-bA chah' oo'-mO-jah) - The unity cup.  We drink communally from this cup as well as pour a libation for the ancestors.  Honoring the ancestors, those who came before us is an important aspect of Kwanzaa.

Now that the Mkeka is set up it is time to get on with the celebration!

You can give Zawadi, (zu-wo'-dee), which are small presents, typically handmade, but they can also be things like books, but gifts are not the main thrust of Kwanza.

We begin our Kwanzaa day with the words, Habri Gani! (Hu-bar'-ee go'-nee).  It means what's the news?  The answer is the principle or Nguzo Saba of the day.  So what are the seven principles of Kwanzaa?  Here they are.

Umoja (oo-mO-jah) - Unity.  We must stand together if we are to overcome our difficulties

Kujichagulia (coo'-gee-chah-goo-lee-ah) - Self-Determination.  We must not let anyone else decide who we are.  We must speak for ourselves and not let others speak for us.  Just because someone says you are lazy or useless or worthless does not mean it is true!

Ujima (oo-gee'-mah) - Cooperative Work and Responsibility.  We must work together to build the world of which we wish to be a part.  We must look after each other and understand that we are responsible to ourselves, our families and our communities.

Ujamaa (oo-jah'-mah) - Cooperative Economics.  We shop at stores owned and run by African Americans to make sure that we are supporting small business.  (My family has opened this out to all small businesses in our area.  Mom and pop are under attack from Big Box.  Support small businesses when you can.)

Nia (nee'-uh) - Purpose.  We must move through our lives with purpose and we must understand that our lives have purpose.  Approach your life with goals and actions that help you achieve good things.

Kuumba (k-oom-bah) - Creativity.  Leave the world a more beautiful place than when you found it.

Karamu (kAr'-um-moo) - The feast of Kwanzaa where you eat traditional African American foods, sing, dance, tell stories and celebrate!

Imani (i-mah'-nee) - Faith.  You must have faith in yourself and in the hope that we can build a better world.  (You can apply this to religious faith if you like, but my family does not)

The last part of the celebration deals with reflection.  You can do readings of African American artists, poets, teachers, and philosophers.  You can discuss how you plan to make the Nguzo Saba a reality in your life.  You can talk about what you have done in the past year to live up to the principles of Kwanzaa.  That bit is up to you.  Here are some readings to get you started.

Maya Angelou

Lanston Hughes

Frederick Douglas

Martin Luther King

Oprah 

Barack Obama

Phyllis Wheatley

So, get out there and see if you can find a Kwanzaa event!  Reflect on what you can do to make the world a better place.

Happy Kwanzaa!

Peaks and Valleys: The Gig Economy Can Eat You Alive

The Gig Economy can rip your heart out.

January you have so much work you don't know if you can do it all, and February you have one gig and it was a 'take it because I need something' type of show.

March and April are a wasteland, and then May turns out all right just in time to deal with the desert of June and the pittance of July.

Sometimes you go through years with lots of work before you hit a slump that lasts eleven months.

I am king of the world!!!

You could struggle for years and one day become the cat who fell into a vat of cream.

There is no predicting it

Anybody who has been part of the Gig Economy knows that sometimes you are flying so high you can't see the ground, and sometimes you are feeling so low you have to look up to see the dirt.

When you are flying, sometimes it feels like you will never land. It is all horizon.

This guy is a forensic botanist. I didn't even know that was an option!

When you are crawling low, you wonder why you didn't do the sensible thing and become a botanist. Botanists have good health plans, steady work, and their paychecks don't fluctuate wildly depending on the fundraising efforts of an enthusiastic eight-year-olds selling candy bars.





Nobody needs advice about flying high except to make sure you have a good parachute handy, because at some point you will need it.

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Parachute:

1. Save what you can while you can.

2. Support people who need help. You are definitely going to need to ask for something at some point!

3. Pay your advice forward to people who need a hand with whatever you are mastering at the moment. It will come back to you when you need it.

4. Create community with others in the gig world, they can help you get through the slow times.

5. Make sure you are not spending your wish or if come!


Unfortunately, when you hit a valley, everybody has advice and all of it makes you feel like a failure or that you are somehow not working hard enough. What you really need is a life preserver.

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Life Preserver:

1. Don't be afraid to ask for help or talk to others about what is happening. You will find that lots of artists are not only sympathetic: they will feed you.

2. Don't let the downturn stop you from improving your art! Work on that novel; read some new anthologies; paint: knit; institute a rigorous workout schedule; learn Spanish....in other words, accomplish something. It will make you feel better and when it is over, you will have a new skill or a new love or a smaller waistline.

3. DON'T STOP MARKETING!

4. Visit a relative who will feed you and pamper you. Pampering is good when you feel low.

5. Tap into the community of artists around you. There is gold to be mined and it might help you look at things in a different light.

6. Whatever you do, DON'T ISOLATE.  That way lies depression. Even introverts need a little reach out in these times.

Good luck on this wild trip!


Happy Telling!

Taming The Wild Personal Narrative

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My Uncle Pete loved cats. he had a million of them. His favorite one had one blue eye. The other eye, whatever color it might have been, had been missing as long as I'd been alive.

"Uncle Pete," we'd ask, "tell us how that cat lost his eye!"

My uncle Pete would roll a cigarette real slow while we sat there waiting. He'd seal it with his tongue, press it hard together and then light it. He'd take a long drag, blow out that bluish smoke and settle back in this old beat up armchair on his front porch.

"Well," he'd say, "that's quite a story."

Then, he'd launch into the tale of how the cat lost its eye.
The story was always interesting.
The story was always exciting.
The story was always unbelievable.
The story was always different.

Thing is, we didn't really care how that cat lost its eye. We just loved listening to Uncle Pete tell stories.

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Personal narratives. They've become the mainstay of storytelling at festivals and in the commercial storytelling market.

Five minutes of some emotionally shocking thing that happened to you. Five minutes of your pain or someone else's pain on stage. Five minutes of your life for consumption.

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Then, there are longer personal narratives about all sorts of things. We hear stuff that we wouldn't ever ask about because it would be rude. We hear about stuff we wouldn't ask about because we don't want to know. We hear about things that we don't care about because it doesn't resonate.


Every now and then we hear a story that speaks to us beyond the here and now. Every now and then we hear a tale that is actually about what it means to be a human going from one moment to another.

I don't write much about personal narrative, but I just took a workshop with Bill Harley about personal narrative, and they are on my mind.


So, to that end: Here are some tips I give to people about personal narratives.

1 - Is this a "Me" story or a "We" story?

Kathryn Tucker Wyndham talked about the difference between a "me" story and a "we" story. The Me story is all about me and it is focused on me and at the end, I am the only reason it is told. The We story is about all of us. It is the story that focuses us on ourselves and invokes the power of who we are as a people to shine a light on something that is true about our condition. We stories transcend the now. Me stories are gone shortly after we hear them.

Q: What on earth was the point of that story about Uncle Pete? Why should we care?

2 - Don't tell a story that hasn't ended yet. That's therapy. You should be paying us.

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Personal stories are like molten lava spewing from our soul. They need to cool, harden, and patiently wait until we see which trees, flowers, and animals start inhabiting it. Until the story is no longer living, breathing, or burning inside of us as a now concern, we don't know where it is going or what is going to happen to it.

Q: Why are you telling this particular tale about Pete? Did he die of cancer or was he from a bygone era, or possibly he is now in a nursing home or maybe...Is this story actually over or did you see him last week and hear about his cat. If you did, how are you dealing with that?

3 - Make sure you have some idea about what the story is about.

This is hard. We always think we know what our stories are about if they happen to us, but the truth is that in order to understand a story you have to be standing on the outside of it. From the inside, you can't even guess what is going on.

Bill Harley was talking about contextualizing a story and giving it meaning through your lens.

Q: Is this thing with Pete why you love a good story? Did he die of cancer? Does he have memory loss? Was he a brilliant man who nobody thought two shakes of a stick about? Is this story really about that cat? Have you got a one-eyed cat now? Do you rescue animals? What is this story about?


4 - What is your role in this story?

This is something I learned from Bill this morning.

Who are you in the tale? Frame it in terms of mythology. I've discovered that in one of my stories I'm Eris. In another, I'm as invisible as the air. What is your role in the tale?

Q: Who are you in Uncle Pete's story? A conduit? Do you have some connection to that cat? Do you save, condemn, lead, flee, fight for, or otherwise have some kind of mythic role in this tale?

5 - Be a responsible tour guide.

Personal narratives can get tricky, messy, emotionally complicated, and downright soul cutting. Don't leave your audience bleeding, in distress, or worried that you are about to jump off of a building. If you end a piece and the audience thinks they need to take care of you, that is not a story you should be telling.

Q: Where is this Pete story going? Are you going to tell us what happened to him or why the cat has one eye? Does it matter? If we have questions about Pete or this cat when the tale is over, you were not a safe tour guide!


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As for the opening lines of the story above, I would love to answer your questions about Uncle Pete, but since I just made him up to illustrate the way a personal narrative might start, I can't help you.

Feel free to just flesh it out any way you'd like. After all, it isn't actually a personal narrative.

Happy Telling!

Don't Let Ridiculous Speed Overwhelm You

Bullet Trains move at ridiculous speed!

As a touring artist, most of my life moves at ridiculous speed when I am awake.

Ridiculous speed is something many people can relate to.

Got a manuscript to my agent on Wednesday. Hooray! A moment to breathe....not so fast.





Hadn't really cleaned the house for a week while I wrestled with prose. Got that done...mostly. Started packing for the weekend festival. Made necessary arrangements for a couple of other gigs coming up, thought about what I might like to write on next...Agent emailed me a manuscript and asked me if I wanted to edit it. So, the next writing project started almost immediately.

Yesterday morning I got up at 6:30am, had a quick breakfast, took a quick shower, drove an hour to a school, set up my sound system, did two shows, took the system down, drove an hour home, grabbed lunch on the way, packed the rest of my stuff, sent out an artist survey for the school I'd just visited, filed my mileage, made an appointment for my daughter at a spa for her birthday, waited in a forever long line at Costco to fill up my car, drove to Chapel Hill to pick up my husband after he dropped a car off for my daughter, then drove to Jonesborough, TN for the National Storytelling Festival.

Once we got here to TN, we had to go to the opening night banquet to get packets and hug lots of people. After the meeting where we got the low down on how the festival was going to work, The Mister and I walked back to the hotel, stopping about six times to talk to people. It took us an hour to get three blocks. Got back to the room, ended up talking to Sheila Arnold and Darci Tucker until eleven, went over my emcee duty work until midnight...sleep.

Up this morning at 6:45am to breakfast with The Mister, went over the packet for emcee duties, got my introductions laid out for today...I'll worry about the ones for tomorrow later tonight, ironed my outfit, and faced the fact that I hadn't blogged in almost a month.

Artists are the things they live, and right now I am in transition.

I won't stop being a storyteller.
I won't stop blogging.
I'm doing lots of fiction writing.

You wake up one morning and they are gone!

My touring season is ridiculous this year.

By the same token...

My kids are no longer at home.
My parents are aging and needing more care.
My husband and I are starting to work out the empty nest rest of our lives.
I'm trying to decide where I see myself in ten years.

Noticing the transition you are in when you hit it is helpful.

It can help you make decisions in a way that focuses your future. It can also help you decide what you want to keep and what you want to leave behind.

Your brain and body know more about you than the rushing life you lead. If you are exhausted, stress ill, sleepless, discontented, terrified, or worried and you don't stop and address the pell-mell, headlong rush that is ridiculous speed, it will catch up with you and force you to stop.

I learned this the hard way many years ago!


Make sure you stop ridiculous speed every now and then and breathe.
Make sure you stop ridiculous speed every now and then and reflect.
Make sure you stop ridiculous speed every now and then and choose.
Make sure you stop ridiculous speed every now and then and consider what you are actually doing as opposed to what you want to be doing.

Some of us will not be free of ridiculous speed until we decide to switch to a lower gear.
That doesn't mean you can't take a quick break.
Ridiculous speed does not stop on its own.
You have to stop it.

Happy Telling!